The Ocean
Some people just dip their feet in one step at a time
Not wanting to get sucked into the depths of the sea
Some dive right in
Thinking they have nothing to fear
But as for me, I stand on the shore
Waiting for the ocean to come to me
It‘s like waiting for a rainstorm
There‘s not really a way to tell
When its coming to you
PLEASE THIS POEM NEEDS HELP
Now that i have your attention. give me feedback on what i can do with this mess of metaphors
I feel as though it lacks a particular drive. If the peom is about being passive than there's something to work with. But honestly I'm having trouble figuring out the purpose behind it. I realy do like it though. It has a lot of profound metaphores. I think you should establish a point your trying to get across. What I think of when I read it (particularly the last stanza) is a sense of wanting to be engulfed by nature rather than conquering it yourself.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if that's right, but it could be something to go by. :) Love the poem!
Thank you so much... I love input!
DeleteNo prolem! Glad to help :) I love poetry!
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